What to do if your child is being bullied

Jessica Mitchell • March 22, 2021

It is difficult for any parent to learn that their child is being bullied, the unfortunate truth is, bullying is very common. According to the Office for National Statistics, 1 in 5 children aged 10-15 in England and Wales are bullied. 

As a parent/carer, there are many ways that you can support a child who is experiencing bullying, many of which we have suggested below.

 

Listening is Key 

If your child does start to speak with you about their bullying experience, the most important thing to do is listen without getting upset or angry.


Remaining calm will help your child to relax and encourage them to keep talking to you. The information they provide you with will also help you to understand the next appropriate step to take.


Reassurance

Reassurance helps children and young people to remain resilient during difficult times. By providing reassurance, this will help to relieve the pressure and anxiety from the situation.


Role-play

For some children, role-play scenarios can often help them to reflect and gain a clearer understanding of the situation. By role-playing scenarios out, this will provide your child with different strategies to use so that they can better cope and build their resilience levels.


Don’t Let The Situation Dominate 

A way to stop these incidents from dominating your child's life is by helping them develop a new skill to occupy their time. Whether they join a sporting club or learn to knit via YouTube tutorials, learning new skills will help to build their confidence so that they can take positive steps forward.


Things To Avoid 

If you are really worried about your child, we have a few tips for things to avoid when you find out your child is being bullied:

  • Try not to let your emotions run high – this could add stress and anxiety to the situation and your child
  • Do not dismiss their experience – this could teach them to tolerate bullying


Getting School Involved 

All schools across the UK legally have an anti-bullying policy in place.


Our top tips when getting your child’s school involved is:

  • Before going into the school, list all the facts around the situation
  • Make sure to make an appointment with the senior member of staff
  • Try to not accuse the school – usually, they are the last group within the scenario to find out
  • Be patient, allow the school to deal with the situation in the best way possible


What should I do if things do not improve

From the start, try to keep a diary, including writing down every incident when it happens, the details surrounding it and who your child may have spoken to about it.  Maintaining communication with the school is important whether the bullying is taking place within the classroom environment or not. Bullying is likely to affect a child's concentration levels at school, so keeping them up-to-date on the existing challenges will ensure they can provide reasonable support. Remember, your child’s school has a variety of techniques to deal with bullying. So be patient as bullying isn’t acceptable, no matter the circumstances.

An interview with a Volunteer Mentor

By Emma Bewlay • September 28, 2023
What interested you about becoming an Island Volunteer Mentor? I was interested in volunteering and personal development to enhance my career prospects. I was at a stage where I was confused as to where I wanted to go next but I knew I was good with people, and I knew that my personality would suit working one to one with a young person. I knew that I could pass on good advice and life experience. How long did you mentor for The Island? I mentored for around 15 months. Every week for around 2 hours on a Thursday night. Sometimes we would miss a session due to various factors, but these sessions were caught up on. What did you enjoy most about the Mentoring? I enjoyed being able to experience many different activities with my young person and being able to see their confidence grow. I enjoyed catching up and hearing stories from the week and focusing my attention on that session. Different social settings allowed me to guide my young person and relay stories from my experience which I knew would be helpful. This was enjoyable as I knew I was passing on vital helpful advice for adulthood. Why do you think Mentoring is important for young people? I think in today's world with social media and the stresses on life can be overwhelming for everyone. For a young person to be guided by a mentor, they can step away from that world for a short while and express themselves or let off steam in an environment where they can be nurtured and not judged. With the guidance of a mentor, the young person can take the advice into everyday life which will hopefully help them in difficult and stressful situations. The young person can build up a relationship with the mentor and know that they have trust in them to be able to openly talk about their feelings away from a family, friend it school setting. Please let us know how you have found the support from the island and which aspects you have found the most valuable? I found the support very good and easy to access. I knew that if I needed any support or advice, I could email or call my supervisor. I found the group sessions with other mentors helpful as we could come together and talk about our experience and use any advice in future sessions. Hearing stories from other mentoring experiences was highly valued. Has the Island supported you with any future plans personally or professionally? If so, could you share this with us? The island has kept in touch with me regarding several career opportunities throughout the mentoring process that I have considered. I know that I could sit with the island and discuss any plans if I needed to. Most of all, they have helped my confidence and gave me a platform to express myself and follow my goals which has put me in good stead for next move in my career as a health trainer. The skills and experience I have gained from my mentoring will be transferred over to this next role. At the Island, we are constantly looking for people who have the ability to listen, and who feel that they can develop a positive rapport with children and young people in an honest, challenging and non-judgemental way. All prospective volunteer mentors receive training, support and supervision. This covers such areas as communication, child protection, equal opportunities and often, in the process mentors learn more about themselves, too. To find out more about our volunteer opportunities please click here www.theislandyork.org
A seafront images of North Landing, Flamborough in Bridlington

What we do - The Island's Escape

By Jamie Duffill • May 18, 2023
The Island works in many ways to support children and their families in York. This article explores the importance of ensuring that all families have the opportunity to go holiday, and how The Island helps people take a break from the pressures of daily life. The Summer Holidays With summer approaching, children and young people will begin to look forward to the holidays. For many, they offer a welcome extended break from school and a chance to make new memories with family and friends. However, for others, they represent a more challenging time. The cost of living crisis has placed the greatest financial pressure on families for a generation. The Office for National Statistics reports that the price of consumer goods has risen ‘at the fastest rate in four decades in the year to October 2022’. Inflation is having the greatest impact on the most vulnerable in our society. The Resolution Foundation found that the lowest income households spend three times more of their family budget on gas and electricity energy bills than the highest. In this context, many parents are having to cut back on holiday plans in order to ensure their children have the essentials that they need. The Family Holiday Charity report that 2.2 million families with dependent children are unable to afford a one week holiday in the UK. This is a startling figure, and one that is expected to rise as the cost of living crisis continues. What does The Island offer families? We believe that every family deserves to spend time together away from the stresses of everyday life. The Island has a holiday property in Bridlington, which offers children the chance to relax and reconnect with their families. In 2019, we helped sixteen families have a week long holiday, and ten families take a weekend break. A parent of a mentee at The Island said that the property provided “a space we can be together, away from the daily grind, and to have a laugh”. They went on to describe their time away as “life-changing”. We’re committed to providing more of these priceless experiences to families in York. How can you support families in York? If you’d like to support us to help more families visit our holiday property by making a donation, please click here . Alternatively, if you’d like to view the current volunteering opportunities at The Island, such as being a mentor, fundraiser, or content writer, click here .
An image of a female child sat at a table wearing a pink jumper &a cream woolly hat.

The important role that youth work plays in society

By Jamies Duffill • May 9, 2023
In this article, we explore the nature of youth work, its social value, and how you can volunteer to support young people in York. Click “continue reading” to find out more.
Image of several Great British coins including 2ps, 10ps, 20ps and £1 coins

Poverty and Inequality in York and the North

By Jamie Duffill • March 28, 2023
Recent research indicates that the cost of living crisis has further entrenched inequalities between north and south. How is this crisis affecting levels of poverty in York, and what can you do to support many of the city’s most vulnerable children? Click "continue reading" to discover more.

The Island joins Easy Fundraising

By The Island • March 7, 2023
We’re delighted to announce that we have joined Easy Fundraising and would love for you to support us through the platform to continue enhance the lives of vulnerable children and young people who use our services. Click "continue reading" to find out more.

Meet the Team - Ben Hyde

By The Island • February 28, 2023
Ben started at The Island in 2022 after spending a year-long placement at the charity in 2018. Click "continue reading" to find out more about Ben and the important role he plays The Island.

The Island launches York's Youth In Crisis Appeal

By The Island • February 13, 2023
Currently providing mentoring programmes for 129 vulnerable local children and young people, we have now launched our York's Youth In Crisis Appeal to raise £50,000 to meet the surge in demand on our services.
A mother and teenage son sat together at a desktop computer.

How to manage what your child sees online

By Jess Mitchell • February 7, 2023
The online world allows everyone to access a vast amount of information and services. As we already know, there are many websites and platforms that help to educate and entertain our children, but there is also inappropriate content out there. As a parent or carer, you may already have rules on how much screen time and which sites your children are allowed to access; but how can you make sure your child is safe surfing the internet whilst giving them a sense of independence and freedom? Click "continue reading" to find out more.

More one-to-one volunteer mentors urgently required

By The Island • January 23, 2023
We urgently need more one to one volunteer mentors to support the next generation. Can you help us? Click "continue reading" to find out more.
An image of a pile of Great British coins including 1ps, 2ps, 10ps and 20ps

How does economic insecurity affect children and young people?

By Jamie Duffill • January 20, 2023
Millions of families across the country are facing greater financial pressures than ever before. In recent years, the cost of essentials like food, fuel and energy has increased dramatically. In 2019, the average annual energy bill was £1289. Today, that figure stands at £2500, with the government price cap set to rise to £3000 in April 2023. Click "continue reading" to find out more.