The Burden of Family Bereavement 

The Island • Mar 05, 2020

For most of us growing up our parents reflect and characterise the most fundamental and archetypal support network in our lives. They provide us with a safe and compassionate environment synonymous with love, warmth and protection in an otherwise turbulent and unsettling time that is the transition through childhood to adolescence. That makes it all the more tragic that every year across the UK and York thousands of young people are deprived of this due to sudden family tragedy and bereavement.

Between March 2016-April 2018 6% of referrals made to The Island were associated with issues related to family bereavement and tragedy (The Island – Referral Report), that is 1 in 20 young people. This is broadly representative and correlative with findings from larger organisations such as Child Bereavement UK who found that within the UK 1 in 29 5-16 year olds have been bereaved of a parent or sibling.

The Island recognises the symbiosis between delivering positive and sustainable mentoring relationships and creating new and everlasting support networks. That is why we are unwavering in our determination to improve and enhance the quality of life for vulnerable young people who have lost vital support platforms through family tragedy and bereavement across York. Indeed, there are many young people involved with and currently using our services that were referred for issues interlinked with family tragedy.

These young people who have family bereavement identified as their primary need are offered targeted intervention that will specifically address and mitigate the impacts of family tragedy and hopefully improve their perspective and outlook on life. The Island, for example, provides and offers bereavement counselling through Be More Life Coachingthat delivers positive and targeted sessions focused on dealing with and overcoming grief associated with family tragedy. In addition to this The Island also operates and matches mentors with referred young people through matching criteria based off the young person’s primary area of need to ensure the relationship is as beneficial as possible. This includes young people who have been specifically referred for issues related to experiencing family bereavement.

Ian is one of the many young people that were referred to The Island with issues synonymous with family bereavement identified as their primary need. At the time of the referral being made Ian had been faced with a large amount of emotional turmoil. He had recently lost his dad to terminal cancer with his behaviour worsening at both school and home. All of this placed large amounts of pressure on mum who felt more and more overwhelmed as time passed. She was constantly worrying about Ian as he wasn’t being open about the grieving process and seemed to avoid talking about dad.

Ian was matched with a retired woman who had a large array of interests that could positively contribute to helping improve both Ian’s self-belief and confidence. Having grandchildren of her own, Ian’s mentor was experienced when it came to young people and could ideally provide a stable figure in Ian’s life. The impact and support of Ian’s mentor was invaluable, she became a ‘nanna figure’ in his life and as time spent with his mentor went on Ian eventually opened up about losing his dad. Even once the mentoring came to an official end in terms of The Island’s coordination, it was agreed that contact would continue between Ian and his mentor. Mum was incredibly happy at the positive impact the relationship had made to his personal and social development noting how his mood and attitude had improved thanks to his mentor.

Ian is a prototypical case study that represents and reflects the wider beneficial impact that The Island has on many families and children who are struggling due to experiencing family bereavement.

For every £100 donated The Island can provide 10 mentoring sessions to a young person like Ian who needs assistance in overcoming family bereavement and improving their perspective on life. To make a donation click here.

By Emma Bewlay 28 Sep, 2023
What interested you about becoming an Island Volunteer Mentor? I was interested in volunteering and personal development to enhance my career prospects. I was at a stage where I was confused as to where I wanted to go next but I knew I was good with people, and I knew that my personality would suit working one to one with a young person. I knew that I could pass on good advice and life experience. How long did you mentor for The Island? I mentored for around 15 months. Every week for around 2 hours on a Thursday night. Sometimes we would miss a session due to various factors, but these sessions were caught up on. What did you enjoy most about the Mentoring? I enjoyed being able to experience many different activities with my young person and being able to see their confidence grow. I enjoyed catching up and hearing stories from the week and focusing my attention on that session. Different social settings allowed me to guide my young person and relay stories from my experience which I knew would be helpful. This was enjoyable as I knew I was passing on vital helpful advice for adulthood. Why do you think Mentoring is important for young people? I think in today's world with social media and the stresses on life can be overwhelming for everyone. For a young person to be guided by a mentor, they can step away from that world for a short while and express themselves or let off steam in an environment where they can be nurtured and not judged. With the guidance of a mentor, the young person can take the advice into everyday life which will hopefully help them in difficult and stressful situations. The young person can build up a relationship with the mentor and know that they have trust in them to be able to openly talk about their feelings away from a family, friend it school setting. Please let us know how you have found the support from the island and which aspects you have found the most valuable? I found the support very good and easy to access. I knew that if I needed any support or advice, I could email or call my supervisor. I found the group sessions with other mentors helpful as we could come together and talk about our experience and use any advice in future sessions. Hearing stories from other mentoring experiences was highly valued. Has the Island supported you with any future plans personally or professionally? If so, could you share this with us? The island has kept in touch with me regarding several career opportunities throughout the mentoring process that I have considered. I know that I could sit with the island and discuss any plans if I needed to. Most of all, they have helped my confidence and gave me a platform to express myself and follow my goals which has put me in good stead for next move in my career as a health trainer. The skills and experience I have gained from my mentoring will be transferred over to this next role. At the Island, we are constantly looking for people who have the ability to listen, and who feel that they can develop a positive rapport with children and young people in an honest, challenging and non-judgemental way. All prospective volunteer mentors receive training, support and supervision. This covers such areas as communication, child protection, equal opportunities and often, in the process mentors learn more about themselves, too. To find out more about our volunteer opportunities please click here www.theislandyork.org
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By Jamie Duffill 18 May, 2023
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