How to communicate with teenagers
Emily Erasmus • February 3, 2022
Adolescence is the period of transition between childhood and adulthood where physical, cognitive, social and emotional changes begin. These big changes can result in teenagers feeling disconnected from loved ones unable to open up about challenges and obstacles within their lives. As parents/carers, there are many ways that you can maintain an open and positive dialogue with teenagers as they develop, which we hope you will find useful!
Children's Mental Health Statistics in England
Statistics show that one in eight children and young people in England aged 5-19 have a mental health condition.
Without good communication, it will be tricky to understand how teenagers are feeling and thinking, especially if they are unable to put their concerns into words. That's where good and open communication is key.
How does good communication help teenagers?
Good communication with teenagers has many benefits, not does it help improve their mental wellbeing, but it can also aid them with their
- brain development
- confidence
- problem-solving skills
- conversation skills
Just like adults, teenagers all have different strengths and weaknesses there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to achieving the perfect relationship and communication.
What will work for one family will not necessarily work for yours and, in fact, even what works for one child will not always be the right approach for another. This may seem disheartening if you are in a desperate situation to positively communicate with a teenager, however, it’s a journey every parent/carer will go on at least once, so you aren’t alone. Don’t compare yourself to those around you- you are comparing apples and oranges. There is no one right way and you will find yours.
Tips to communicate positively with teenagers
There are some key ingredients to set the foundations for good communication with teenagers. How you implement them is up to you and will most likely be a learning process.
- Your child sees how you act- try to be what you want to see in your child. You are most likely to find this difficult at times, however, that is ok. Look to take positive steps and acknowledge this in your parenting.
- Remember that just as you will want space occasionally; make it ok for teenagers to have theirs.
- It might be beneficial to familiarise yourself with the stage of development and what sort of things are their focus as it could help you to understand what they are going through. It is even better if you can have this conversation with them. Open questions such as ‘how are you doing?’ or ‘what have you been up to today?’ can give little windows into their world and show that you are listening and there for them.
- The quality of your communication is important. Give them your full attention, ask questions to learn more, be an active listener and don’t pre-judge the situation- let them tell you how it is.
- Keep communication simple- Use words they understand. Don’t try and be ‘down with it’.
- Consider your body language- do you fold your arms, turn away from your teenager, are you relaxed?
- Show your teenager that love them and accept them for them. Let you be their safe space.
- Not everything is worth a fight. Prioritise what is important and what demands what style of communication.
Most important of all is that no matter what is going on the lines of communication are open and they know it.
If you feel you’ve got the skills, room in your heart and time to listen to a child in need then do consider mentoring with us. To find out more, click here.
What interested you about becoming an Island Volunteer Mentor? I was interested in volunteering and personal development to enhance my career prospects. I was at a stage where I was confused as to where I wanted to go next but I knew I was good with people, and I knew that my personality would suit working one to one with a young person. I knew that I could pass on good advice and life experience. How long did you mentor for The Island? I mentored for around 15 months. Every week for around 2 hours on a Thursday night. Sometimes we would miss a session due to various factors, but these sessions were caught up on. What did you enjoy most about the Mentoring? I enjoyed being able to experience many different activities with my young person and being able to see their confidence grow. I enjoyed catching up and hearing stories from the week and focusing my attention on that session. Different social settings allowed me to guide my young person and relay stories from my experience which I knew would be helpful. This was enjoyable as I knew I was passing on vital helpful advice for adulthood. Why do you think Mentoring is important for young people? I think in today's world with social media and the stresses on life can be overwhelming for everyone. For a young person to be guided by a mentor, they can step away from that world for a short while and express themselves or let off steam in an environment where they can be nurtured and not judged. With the guidance of a mentor, the young person can take the advice into everyday life which will hopefully help them in difficult and stressful situations. The young person can build up a relationship with the mentor and know that they have trust in them to be able to openly talk about their feelings away from a family, friend it school setting. Please let us know how you have found the support from the island and which aspects you have found the most valuable? I found the support very good and easy to access. I knew that if I needed any support or advice, I could email or call my supervisor. I found the group sessions with other mentors helpful as we could come together and talk about our experience and use any advice in future sessions. Hearing stories from other mentoring experiences was highly valued. Has the Island supported you with any future plans personally or professionally? If so, could you share this with us? The island has kept in touch with me regarding several career opportunities throughout the mentoring process that I have considered. I know that I could sit with the island and discuss any plans if I needed to. Most of all, they have helped my confidence and gave me a platform to express myself and follow my goals which has put me in good stead for next move in my career as a health trainer. The skills and experience I have gained from my mentoring will be transferred over to this next role. At the Island, we are constantly looking for people who have the ability to listen, and who feel that they can develop a positive rapport with children and young people in an honest, challenging and non-judgemental way. All prospective volunteer mentors receive training, support and supervision. This covers such areas as communication, child protection, equal opportunities and often, in the process mentors learn more about themselves, too. To find out more about our volunteer opportunities please click here www.theislandyork.org
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